Saas Bahu wars

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law wars

I heard a psychologist giggle and say, “If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are fighting, nobody should intervene to mitigate their altercation. They should learn how to resolve their differences on their own.”

So, giving them your perspective on it to calm the situation is spoon-feeding? Dear psychologist, you are a woman. Also, you are married. It’s not surprising that you publicly endorse your husband’s patriarchal jokes as funny, as you’re a victim of internalised misogyny.

Psychologist, are you aware of the fact that Indian mothers-in-law are often perpetrators of patriarchy? Have you heard of cases of them abusing their son’s wife for dowry and even killing them? Do you know how they nit-pick on their daughters-in-law in the kitchen? Are you oblivious to the fact that they speak ill of the bride’s character? Many of them try to impose orthodox doctrines on how their grandchildren should be raised. They disallow wives from freely interacting with their husbands and them going out on romantic outings. They may order daughters-in-law to leave jobs, lock themselves at home, be a slave to them and slog all day.

So, from your podium of a therapist, you are advising husbands and family members that they better not support a daughter-in-law who is being tortured by a mother-in-law. If someone tries to ingrain sense into the mothers-in-law, they may understand that they cannot misbehave with their son’s wives. That will also give daughters-in-law support.

Maybe, you claim to have counselled many couples and rattle off interviews on how to have a happy marriage. It is because of bad psychologists like you though, that I am afraid of going to therapists.

If the daughter-in-law is wrong, then someone should step in and tell her she is incorrect. I hope there will be no further questions.

#mother-in-law, #daughter-in-law, #saas, #bahu, #dowry, #domesticviolence, #patriarchy, #misogyny, #psychology, #psychologist, #bride, #dowrydeath, #marriagecounselling, #marriage, #relationships

https://www.pexels.com/photo/joyful-adult-daughter-greeting-happy-surprised-senior-mother-in-garden-3768131/: Picture Courtesy: Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels: This is a picture representing a healthy mother-daughter relationship

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